oi?!

fuck you oi!

fag.

lame. lame. loser. that is what you are.

selfish, in the most obvious of ways. why don't you see how bad this looks? i swear i don't know anyone who hasn't bitched about you. and you just seem to be totally oblivious. u r the biggest ass licker i know. and the fuked up thing is.. you enjoy it. wtfs that about?!

knob.

model. really?. seriously?.

ok. so like what's with all you girls thinking you're ugly and then finding someone who studies art and/or has an expensive camera, having a few photos taken and then suddenly thinking you got what it takes to be a model!?

seriously.

number of points here.

1. if you paid for your shoot. you're stupid and give me some money.

2. models aren't necessarily good looking. they're just tall, skinny, and have defined features. if you don't have three of these. please stop trying to be a model.

3. if you ever say you're a model, i'm gunna expect you to be really really good looking anyway. and if you're not, you're just gunna disappoint me seriously and i may just end up saying that you're ugly.

4. big boobs are fuking weird. yeah ok, if u aspire to be in nuts and have frustrated jizz over your photo then kool, if not then stfu.

5. modesty goes a million miles. if you actually have what it takes, you'll be chased. don't be flaunting half-arsed photos around. if your photos don't look like something that could be in a magazine, then u'll never be in a magazine. and if u try and flaunt those photos. u'll just look even more like a twat.

6. friends are you're most unreliable source of trust when it comes to matters of looks. however. if they don't really say anything, then you know that's a BAD SIGN.

maybe i should exploit u all. girls are so stupid. all i need is a camera. a place. and then girls will be like 'yeah i wanna build up my portfolio'. su.

wow

i do astonish myself sometimes! the capabilities of my english from over two years ago exceeded what i thought i might have written! my new blog introduction has been suprisingly satisfying to read and i'm glad that it was me who wrote it! less so for the success though. for two years it has been since i've felt a need to exert my feelings onto a keyboard. or at least on this page. my livejournal remains occasionally visited though the point of it seems lost now that no-one wants to read it. though the risk of someone very much like me, returning for one quickie update means that i'd probably not be as free on it as here.

i actually stumbled back on myself here because i wanted to create my own sort of style diary. wen my thoughts initially rushed into my head, i managed to arrange them, but now, like i the room i sit in, it is slightly unorganised with a general directory titled 'where stuff probably is near'. back to the point, i wanted a page, or a tag for things that were affordable and stylish to me, and if i had the spare cash, i would purchase. then another set of pages or tags for those that are ridiculously expensive, that will only be purchased by me when i'm rich. that being not too long away ;) (im not touching wood because touching wood sounds wrong and makes no sense. if it were true everyone should just have a piece of wood with them at all times just in case).

there was another page which laid somewhere inbetween but right now my reasoning for it lies under or around my pile of clothes behind me and i can't find it. but having just discussed wesc headphones, i've reasoned out a non-style page. for that which is just lame.

anyways aside from that. i suppose i should use this space for what it was intended. one. there has been no girl. females have flickered in and out of the picture, but girl? no.

i had liked a few, two dancers of the orient in fact. both snatched up though, and neither seemed to want to hint at anything really. interest coming at my direction hasn't been that great. recently had interest from someone taken, who i might be able to learn-to grow-to love, but right now i'm not ready for her. and im feeling stubborn in terms of girls and i'm not really feeling to adjust, or at least for this one. either way. im gunna wait out to see how her current relationship plays out, but im not bothered enough to push it and find out if my 87% guess of success is correct. i would like to get with it, but i don't feel i'd enjoy anything that would lead to more. don't get me wrong, i'd hate to use and abuse, but she sounds amazing in bed, but i don't feel i'd be able to cope with the personality, and i get the feeling that the feelings would go stale quickly..

not much more to comment on there to be honest. thought talking of honesty, thats maybe what i lack in order to gain those things i lack. honesty to myself would clear up my own opinions, and honesty would get me what i want. honesty got me the bigger room.. why can't it get me more?

watching lakeview terrace atm. will come back soon. probably start style blog in a mo.

-nXc

beginning of the end..

whilst it may seem rather stupid for me to open my next blog right in parallel with my immediate old one, it may be even less obvious to those a kin to my usual common sense, therefore leaving me with a blog rather more hidden than the last.

i begin this as i ended the last, the purpose of this blog is to write down all my thoughts, positive or negative, 100% truthfully without a twist for the good of any others. i aim to gain external views and opinions rather than internal judgements and actions.

please, if you discover this and you know me on a personal level, leave me and my life alone and if you wish to discuss any of the issues raised in my blog or in my life then do so with only me, myself and i. you yourself cannot be 100% free of wrong-doings and negative views in which some are kept secret, so why should i lose my right of the privacy of my own?

im afraid that afraid was the correct word to use to begin this sentence. in which that im afraid this blog will be used much more than previously, as now, my more popular, less open but more public livejournal blog may now be public but too much with the wrong audience.

expect many more ramblings, a lot more thoughts and the occasional pointless entry on what not to wear.

and so i begin the end of the end of my beginning by ending with the end of the end..
peace and luv.

n1c